The Life-Defining Margins of Cancer
I’ve been through it. I’m still here. I’ve got a message to share.
Every breakdown is an opportunity to breakthrough.
Cancer. It’s both life-threatening and life-clarifying. It’s a dreaded yet defining disease. Chemotherapy. If you choose this route, you say yes to it’s destructive power in hoping for its curative result. Whether you live or die, your BeforeCancer life is gone. If you get the chance to rise again, the reset into your new AfterCancer life is EVERYTHING!
My journey with cancer began in May 2025 when I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Stage 3, BRCA2-positive, Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, an aggressive form of breast cancer. I am happy to share that I completed my final immunotherapy treatment in September 2026. If you have a history of breast cancer in your family, please do get tested for the BRCA gene. Ask your doctor for this simple blood test that can give you important life-saving options and information.
Beginning with a mammogram, that led to a head-spinning whirlwind of appointments for scans, biopsies and tests, I sat in disbelief as I heard, “We’re dealing with Triple Negative cancer. You’ll have the longer, rougher path of the two possible protocols I laid out for you…” I listened to my oncologist explain a year-long treatment plan for me:
16 total chemotherapy infusions. 12 of these given weekly.
4 of the very portent "Red Devil" treatments spread out over 12 weeks.
Immunotherapy (Keytruda): 16 treatments total—7 alongside chemotherapy
and 9 post-chemo follow-up treatments to ensure no rogue cells remained.
Two surgeries highly recommended - a double mastectomy, reconstruction, and a full hysterectomy due to the BRCA2 gene’s increased risk to grow cancer in those parts too.
A radiation regimen - to be determined post-surgery.
That’s A LOT to take in! I had dedicated my life to maintaining my health and fitness. I had scheduled my mammograms annually as part of my physical check-up each year since turning 40. My mammograms were clear. Nevertheless, I always knew I had “dense breast tissue.” The fine print to this report states imaging may be inconclusive… Issues may be harder to detect… I had so many questions that couldn’t be answered, and so many fears to overcome. Stage 3 means the cancer metastasized. A biopsy on nearby lymph nodes confirmed cancer had spread. This report devastated me. It was important to get my treatment underway as soon as possible.
Cancer? This death-sentencing diagnosis blew my mind. While cancer was quite prevalent in my dad’s side of the family, no one in my immediate family dealt with any health issues. At the time of my diagnosis, my dad was 93 and my mom, 89. They were still living independently. Me? Cancer?
My dad was one of 8 children in his immigrant Italian family. Four of his five sisters had breast cancer. Two of them died from this disease before the age of 40. In addition, colon and esophageal cancers took the lives of his two brothers. You mean my dad is the BRCA gene carrier? Cancer that was so prevalent in his family wasn’t due to poor living conditions? My grandparents moved their growing family from basement to basement renting lower-level space in others’ homes. It took my dad’s family a long time to establish their own home address. Six of his ten family members, my aunts and uncles, had cancer. Surely this was due to poor environmental factors. This was the story we told ourselves. Even so, isn’t breast cancer something we trace through our female lineage? This is the belief I had. There was no cancer on my mom’s side of our family.
What I believed to be true on so many levels, I now questioned. Cancer attacked my body. The work I put into it to be healthy mattered - until cancer tried to prove it didn’t. Cancer forced unwelcome changes outwardly, and inwardly tried to crush my Spirit. I suddenly went from rockin’ a bikini-bod into my 60’s - the picture of health with long flowing hair, to embodying the look of death along with the cares and worries of the most formidable disease forced upon me. All of me felt threatened. “Why am I facing this?” “How am I going to manage…?” What am I going to do…?”
But, while cancer caused me to question so many things about life and myself, it also led me to absolute answers about who I AM.
Photos from top left: 1.My first chemo treatment. I wore ice mitts and boots during each treatment to prevent neuropathy. 2. My port. I’m about halfway through chemo. 3. I maintained my yoga practice throughout. 4. Taught classes as much as possible. 5. All chemotherapy infusions packaged with this warning as my nurse wears a HAZMAT suite to administer. 6. The Red Devil. The final four treatments of an extremely potent chemo concoction. 7. Near to he end of chemotherapy. Embodying death enduring the “Red Devil” phase. 8. Immunotherapy - the final post-chemo phase that continued for 4 months.
Before I could receive chemotherapy, I had to have a port placed under my upper chest wall below my collarbone. After the procedure, I was handed a warranty for my port in a plastic bag like you’d get with a new kitchen appliance. Indeed it felt like a refrigerator had just been installed under my skin! It felt so tight, itchy and angry.
While this port was quite uncomfortable, I knew it played a vital role in delivering my chemotherapy. Because it often looked inflamed, my nurse had radiology verify it’s accessibility before each of my first eight weekly treatments were given. Fortunately, every port check was cleared and all of my infusions went smoothly. The port is placed as an access point to the major artery in my neck. The cellular destructive forces of chemo flow directly into my entire system through this gateway.
Our 37 trillion cells grow, divide and die continuously. Cancer occurs when a single cell becomes resistant. It doesn’t die. It continues to grow and divide attracting more cells to begin a fast-moving cellular stronghold. Among their many tasks, our fast-moving cells grow our hair, support our skin, finger and toe nails, taste buds, gut lining, and provide sensory feeling in our hands and feet. Chemotherapy wipes out the good cells that are behaving with the bad cells that are rebelling.
By the way, the word “cancer” in both Latin and Greek means “crab.” Hippocrates was thought to be the first to name a cellular accumulation under the skin “cancer” because the tumor and surrounding area looked like a crab. I will never eat crab legs again!
Back to my port. It went from inflamed to breaking out from under my skin and therefore, my 9th chemotherapy treatment was paused. My oncologist feared an infection may result and put me on a regimen of antibiotics immediately. I was scheduled to have the port removed asap and receive an interim pic line through an artery in my arm. The pic line is a secondary less optimal alternative causing my typical 4-hour infusions to take longer, but was installed to keep my chemotherapy protocol on track.
With my angry port still in place, I suggested to my friend Sarah, who accompanied me to this particular appointment, that we grab a bite out at a favorite restaurant. Given I didn’t receive chemo that day as planned, I was feeling good. I remember enjoying the lively atmosphere sitting at the bar area. I don’t recall a lot from that moment until the next - being rushed on a gurney through a hospital corridor. I had collapsed. I credit Sarah for saving my life. She did all the right things and yelled for a 911 call and for a doctor in the house. A physician happened to be dining at a nearby table. Together they supported my life until the first responders arrived.
The ER doctor anticipated sepsis shock from my apparently infected port. Yet, all tests could not conclude sepsis or any infection in my system for that matter. Stroke-like brain activity was ruled out from my brain scan. No heart issues were evident in my heart scan either. The ER doctor said my collapse was a bit of a medical mystery as it was evident I had an all-systems shut-down. I flat-lined - uncommon for a fainting spell. My oncologist scheduled a follow-up with a neurologist who determined there was no need for any lingering or ongoing concerns from my collapse. “Our internal wiring is complex. Sometimes, things just happen…” she said.
Two treatments later, the pic line was removed from my arm and a much smaller port was installed. I continued leaning into my cancer-conquering protocol submitting to being “stabbed and poisoned,” by my favorite nurse, Lori
Sarah still gets teary whenever I mention my collapse event. She was traumatized. She thought I died. I think I did - a little. In my departure from reality, I was completely at ease in another realm unaware of what I put her through. No, I didn’t see a light, but if I could put words to my experience, I became Light. I became Peace. I embodied Healing. I knew the Wellness of my Soul.
My bounce-back returns to reality from flat-lining are these eternal truths I now embrace: I AM Light. I AM Peace. I AM well. I AM protected, cared for, and provided for. I AM chosen. I AM called. I AM loved, and so much more…
Every breakdown holds a breakthrough.
Once my chemotherapy treatments were complete, follow-up scans gave positive indications that cancer was gone. Surgery was scheduled two weeks afterward for a double mastectomy. My post surgery lab report rendered the final verdict and best news possible: a PCr - Pathologically Clear result! Radiation treatments often follow surgery with Triple Negative Stage 3 Breast Cancer but thanks to God, and the expert care I received from my oncological team, no radiation phase for me!
Achieving a PCr is a huge win for my team. I got to be a double-bell ringer!! My medical and surgical oncologists credited me for taking all treatments at full strength even when I became quite depleted. Along the way, I needed 2 blood transfusions to boost my blood cell counts just enough to keep me infused at full potency. I give God all the praise and glory for infusing me with His supernatural strength. Cancer brought me to my weakest most vulnerable point in my life, and yet, gave me the gift of knowing how incredibly strong I AM. With God, all things are possible.
@godswordneverchanges
Through disease, weakness and pain I learned I AM enough simply because I exist. You are all that I AM too! The great “I AM” is worthy of capitalization. These two words not only compose a complete sentence, but represent a powerful proclamation. God identified Himself in Exodus 3:14, as “I AM WHO I AM.” Since I am a child of God, and since my existence is founded on this core belief, proclaiming all that I AM is my life’s inheritance. The power of I AM is within me and is beholden of “EVERYTHING” in my AfterCancer life. I know the God of my creation truly is my healer, provider, way-maker, my EVERYTHING I need and more. Praise God! He hasn’t called me HOME just yet, but whether I live or die, having journeyed together with God through cancer, I know I AM GOOD.
EVERYTHING I AM also defines everything I’m not. I know who I AM. I’m not what I thought. Cancer blew my mind. I was both troubled and relieved to know not everything I think is true thanks to the life-defining margins of cancer.
Cancer is the catalyst for my transformation - first outwardly, then inwardly. I had to lean into the storm cancer stirred up in my mind, body and Spirit to not only endure my treatment protocol, but also remove the cancers in my life. My thought patterns and resulting behaviors were biopsied. My pathology report became clear that untrue thoughts led to inauthentic behaviors. Over the years, I had scripted my failures into my own chemistry. Success looked good on the outside, but failure was flowing inwardly. I’ve let my resulting shame become a part of me that could easily be masked by my charisma. Cancer robbed me of my “beautiful traits” causing me to dive deep within to discover my enduring beauty. Living in harmony with my mind, body and Spirit is knowing all I need is already within me.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” — ESV, Isaiah 43:1
Even my name - when I hear it, say it or write it, feels changed. The Lord of my life has a history of name-changing to signify a new identity, purpose or covenant. Abram - Abraham (Genesis 17:5) Sarai - Sarah (Genesis 17:15) Jacob - Israel (Genesis 32:28) Simon - Peter (John 1:42) God brings us through a season of transformation for a reason. Yes, I thank God for this cancer chapter in the book of my life. I AM called to fulfill a purpose - not despite of, but because of the wreckage of my life. Without it, I wouldn’t appreciate my transformation and renewal. Karen - Karena (Cancer 1:01) I know God is smiling as I claim it!
When my mind exploded with my diagnosis, I had two choices. I could lose my mind and let fear overtake it, or expand my mind and allow this experience to teach me. I became a voracious reader and seeker, hungry for knowledge, wisdom and peace to strengthen my mind, body and Spirit. We have the power to choose. We can change our minds to shift our fear into faith, challenges into purposeful opportunities, vulnerabilities and weaknesses into bravery and power.
Cancer gave me an even greater appreciation for yoga. My practice on my mat carried me through the most challenging experience of my life. I kept moving onward with intention and vinyasa-flowing through the treatments, sickness, scans and procedures. One of the common precepts of yoga I teach comes from the Sanskrit, “sthira sukham asanam.” Simply stated in English - meet every challenge with ease. It implies that our intended transformation cannot occur without embracing our difficulties and learning from them.
In the original Sanskrit, “yuj,” the word “yoga” is a verb. It means to take action to “yoke or unite.” We are triune. Made in the image of God, the Trinity - Father, Son and Holy Spirit. This deeper experience of yoga cannot occur without facing challenges that stir up our minds, bodies and Spirits. Cancer. All of me didn’t like what I had to go through. All of me felt overwhelmed. Yet, with God, ALL of me surrendered, “let your will be done.” This gave me peace to allow my fierce healing process to do its good work within me.
Cancer taught me the fitness of my body is far less important than the wellness of my soul. I now talk to God more often. I invite God into my thoughts and daily activities and then tune into the inner knowings of “Karena” to abide by my calling. There’s more intention and focus in my life now.
I’m finally taking steps to build the life ALL of me wants now that I know who I AM. I no longer neglect my soul. I often poured my energy and personality into people and things to receive love or acceptance. This cancerous behavior pattern always left me feeling drained and dim with a poorly-defined aching for “more.” My life-defining margins are now clear. Cancer helped me embrace my Soul, my Power, my Light, my More = EVERYTHING, as it hijacked my body. I’m harnessing my energy for my good. My medical pathological report revealed I conquered cancer. I can do hard things! My personal pathological report revealed the truth of who I AM. Indeed, I AM ready for a new life because with God, all things are possible!
I AM enjoying my local family, my friends - some have been redefined as my “breasties” who journeyed through cancer right along with me, and my yoga community that supported me in countless ways throughout this chapter in my life. In pursuit of my AfterCancer life, I do want to relocate and live in a sunny, warm climate near others in my family in the foreseeable future. I want to continue sharing my gifts to help others move and breathe through life better. This added testimony fuels my purpose with passion even more. I want to thrive in the most meaningful chapters of my life ahead because I AM ready for all that my heart desires. God is faithful to do even more than I could ever ask or think as I trust His timing, and as I take steps toward and surrender to EVERYTHING my Lord and Savior has in store for me. I know someone out there is reading this saying, “I AM ready for all that too!”
I have always appreciated the gift of life and even more so now, knowing my life-defining margins through cancer. I love the miraculous and precious life I’ve been given. I hope you do too! You, my friend are known, intentionally created by the hand of God. Your existence matters. You are here to serve a purpose and to fulfill a divine plan for your life.
This world would not be the same without you. This world can only change for the better because of you too!
Let’s be ready for our EVERYTHING! ~ Karen - Karena
